Understanding your values is an essential part of personal growth and development. Your values are the core beliefs and principles that guide your decisions, actions, and behaviors. They shape your perception of the world around you and influence the way you interact with others. When you know your values, you have a better sense of who you are, what motivates you, and what you want to achieve in life. In this blog post, we will explore the importance of discovering your values and provide some practical tips to help you uncover what matters most to you.
Many of us think we know our values and even catch ourselves saying things like “I can’t/won’t/shouldn’t do that because it’s against my values.” I found myself uttering these phrases quite a bit as I embarked on my journey to determine the next stage of my professional career. I was looking for a company that matched my own personal values but found it difficult since I didn’t have a frame of reference for my own values to check against. I decided to reach out to a dear friend that I respect and asked him how he approached his values. He shared with me that he, too, was struggling with this question. He was on his own quest to find a soulmate to be his partner in life and found himself dismissing potential prospects because their values didn’t seem to align with his. However, he had never defined his values in a way that he could reference and use to help him on his journey of pursuing a lifelong partner. We decided to get together over a weekend and do a “Discover Your Values” workshop, and below is a summary of the steps we followed and the profound lessons we learned along the way.
What are core values?
Core values are the fundamental beliefs that shape a person’s behavior and decision-making. They are the guiding principles that help individuals stay true to themselves, even in challenging situations.
Defining your own values
Now that you have an understanding of what core values are and examples of values, it’s time to start the process of defining your own. The following steps will help guide you in discovering your own personal core values, so you can align your life with what truly matters to you.
- Start off by writing down values that seem relatable to you. Look at the examples of core values listed above and write down all the values that speak to you. Add any other values that are important to you as well. Select the values that truly capture your beliefs and behavior.
2. Consider the people you admire most. Our values are often reflected in the people we respect and admire. Identify six people who are role models or valued connections for you and think about the values they embody.
- Think of individuals who embody values that you respect and admire. This may include a mentor who motivates you with their wisdom and guidance, a community leader who inspires you with their selflessness and dedication, or a relative who impresses you with their integrity and honesty. You can also look up to historical figures like Nelson Mandela, who embodied forgiveness and leadership, or Kobe Bryant, who demonstrated excellence and discipline in his craft. As you reflect on these individuals, take note of the qualities they embody and how they encourage you to strive for similar virtues in your own life.
3. Recall your experiences. Look back on your life and consider your most memorable experiences. Think about what these experiences reveal about your core values. Your achievements and struggles can often provide insight into your values.
4. Categorize your values. Review your list of values and see if you can group them into categories. For example, you may group values like growth, learning, and personal development into one category.
5. Identify the central theme. Once you have categorized your values, choose a word that best represents each group. This will give you a better understanding of the primary values that are most important to you. For the example previous provided, you can use personal growth to cover the three values listed.
6. Choose your top core values. Narrow down your values to the most essential ones that are true to your core beliefs. Rank them in order of importance, with the most important values at the top. Remember, less is more, so aim to have five to ten core values at most.
7. For each value you have listed, provide an accompanying short description, 1-3 sentences that summarizes why this value matters to you or how you define this value.
Examples
- Happiness – Feelings of joy is a key driver of my behavior and pursuit of happiness is core to many of the values I have. I’m a true believer that we were made in this world to live a life that always us to be happy – which means all these values I have ultimately led me to this.
- Growth – Exploring how the brain and body functions, improving both and optimizing a plan to make sure both are in ample shape and getting better is key to who I am.
- Adventuring – Recognizing that I like variety in my life and to find new places, ways to do things, ways to think, people to meet, foods to try, and sights to see.
While this is an exercise you can certainly do on your own, I found that there was a ton of value in doing this with an accountability partner to really get the most out of this process. The additional step for those doing this with a partner or group is to read out your values and articulate them to another to see if you identify any parts you want to update once you speak to them or after you hear examples from others. Sharing is caring, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, as you might be able to help your partner by being transparent and vulnerable during this part of the exercise.
Discovering your core values can be incredibly beneficial in many ways, including:
- Finding your true purpose: By identifying your values, you can gain clarity on what truly matters to you, helping you figure out what you want out of your life.
- Guiding your actions: They help you behave in a way that matches who you want to be.
- Making better decisions: When you’re facing a tough decision, your values can provide a clear framework for evaluating your options and choosing a path that feels true to you.
- Choosing the right career/life partner: Knowing what matters most to you can help you find a career or life partner that aligns with your values and provides a sense of fulfillment.
- Boosting your confidence: Identifying your values can bring a sense of safety and stability to your life, providing a strong foundation for personal growth and increasing your confidence in yourself and your choices.
In conclusion, identifying your core values is an important step towards living a fulfilling and meaningful life. Your values serve as a compass that can guide you through life’s challenges and help you make decisions that align with your authentic self. Remember, aligning your life with your values is the key to true happiness and success, and while your values may evolve over time, the important thing is to stay true to yourself and keep striving to live a life that is in alignment with your core values.
So take the time to explore your values, embrace them, and let them guide you towards the life you want to live!
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle
